A dog named Dog

 

TW: rape, dog being injured

This is my dog. His name is Dog. His full name is Dog Puppy Arylide. He's a Jack Russel and Toy Fox Terrier mix, and he's also the love of my life. He is a huge part of my trafficking story, because he's been my companion since 2019, when I first got him as a puppy. We've been through so much together. Mostly good times, but he's also seen the ugly parts of my life too, including some trafficking events that he was present for. He also aided me with companionship every time I'd return home from servicing and being trafficked. 

  

Dog is also an ESA (Emotional Support Animal) which means that he's not medical equipment or professionally trained to aid in my disability like a Service Dog, but he has certain privileges that help me with my disabilities. For example, he can travel with me on trains or airplanes, he can stay with me in hotels at no extra cost, and he can live with me despite "no pets" rules or "pet fees." Although he's not professionally trained, I have trained him to do some helpful things. I trained him to wake me up during nightmares, which he's able to do about half the time. He can also recognize when I'm crying or stressed/having a panic attack and applies pressure to my chest to calm me down. I haven't trained him in a while, and so his ability to perform those tasks has regressed, but he can still perform them about half the time. He's got the command "pressure" down pretty well!

Dog has been there just like any other amazing dog: to comfort, celebrate, and pour unconditional love on their owner. Although he's small, he has a big heart that's ready to defend me against all evils of the world. I have a very vivid memory of walking dog one day and then being recognized by a regular. He ended up raping me next to a building, but as soon as he put his hands on me, Dog attacked. He was so fierce, strong, and determined to protect me. The regular had kicked him and Dog whimpered, stopped fighting, and remained next to me shaking, his tail between his legs. He's okay, and had no long-lasting injuries due to the kick, but he was very scared. I was scared too. I remember feeling embarrassed that this was happening in front of Dog and that he had to witness it. I want him to feel safe all the time, and I imagine watching me get taken advantage of had shattered some of that. I believe 100% that he understood what was going on in those moments. 

Another memory of abuse that I share with Dog would be when my John broke into my apartment. I put Dog in his crate, covered him with a blanket, and hid him before my John came into my room. My John was there for a few days, while I was unconscious on the bed. After he left, I checked in on Dog. His cage was filled with urine and feces, and he hadn't eaten or drank water in at least two days. I cried at the sight of him, just because he looked so afraid and neglected. He was hesitant to come out. I believe he understood what happened in that room too, I could feel it in the way he was shaking in my arms when I tried to calm him down. We healed from that memory together, and trauma-bonded through our recovery. From that moment on I never put him back in his crate, because I know that he probably associates being in there with that traumatic memory. 

Dog has a tremendous amount of sympathy, empathy, and love to give. He's soaked up my sorrow when returning home from a trafficking exchange. Whenever I walked through the door coming from those traumatic nights, he would greet me with his tail between his legs, head down to the ground, so afraid of what had happened to me. It's like he always knew, or could sense my energy, when I was in that type of distress. We connect on such a deep level, and he has been along side of me through each stage of torture, escape, and recovery along my trafficking journey. 

Like other dogs, he is also so quick to celebrate joy! He's so upbeat and always ready for a good time when the vibe is right. He's been my buddy for so long, and I can't imagine life without him. I can't imagine my trafficking recovery without him. If Dog hadn't been in my life, I would be even more alone, unmotivated, and feeling more hopeless through my trafficking experience. I wouldn't have had someone to comfort me in a silent world where no one else knew what was going on except for me and Dog. 

Dog loves walks, hates the water and rain, loves treats, belly rubs, and playing wrestle & "ready set go." His personality and companionship keeps me alive. I am so lucky to have him, and can't imagine a better life buddy. Please enjoy these pictures of Dog!